CELEBDISH CUTLETS
-->Reports People mag: After a stay of less than a week, Richie Sambora has left his rehab program at the UCLA medical center. Seems pretty quick to be fully recovered.
-->Last night Paris Hilton was moved back to Lynwood, where she originally started her sentence. As of now, she is in the medical ward at Lynwood, but since she has been deemed "medically stable," she will return to her solitary cell in the special needs division. The secret medical condition? Panic attacks.
-->At last night's NYC premiere of "A Mighty Heart", Angelina Jolie went with a $26 vintage dress from a thrift store in LA, as opposed to a designer gown. Smacks of Sharon Stone's GAP turtleneck. But cooler, because it's vintage. Oh Angie, you're so edgy.

Their publicists tell us that Denise Richards and Richie Sambora have broken up. But look whose sneaky--they did break up, TWO MONTHS AGO! The reasoning behind this is that the couple each went through nasty divorces (to Charlie Sheen and Heather Locklear, respectively) and knew the pain that publicity causes, so they wanted some privacy. Know why it worked? Because no one cares that they broke up, or that they were even together. For two months, no one said, "Hmmmm, I haven't seen Denise and Richie together in a while. I wonder if there's trouble in wonderland?" No. No one wonders about them, period. The closest I got to reading something about Denise Richards was when she threw that laptop at the paparazzi. But...here I am, re-reading this paragraph....about Denise Richards. Oh well. Break-ups are what happen when you date someone whose first name is like a nickname of your last name. That'd be like if I married someone whose first name was Skerry. I hope my dreams come true.