Celebitchy, one of the best news format blogs out there, is taking a vote among its readers to ban coverage of Paris, Britney, and Lindsay...here's what they had to say about the terrible trio's exploits this week:

"So Britney Spears ditched her cousin/personal assistant Alli and shacked up with her bodyguard. She is said to binge drinking, eating and shopping. She is also under investigation by California Child Protective services, and they cited her for not putting gates around her pool area. It still not that interesting to me, and I don’t give a crap about Britney. She does pull a lot of dumb stunts though, and it’s hard not to pay attention to her.

Paris Hilton was sort-of caught smoking herb this week, she went out wearing a t-shirt with a pop art portrait of herself on it.

Lindsay Lohan is a bit more interesting as her lesbian affair with DJ Samantha Ronson was exposed through lovey MySpace messages. She also claimed rehab saved her life and bragged about how she’s reading Machiavelli’s The Prince, which surely helps her feel justified for treating people like crap and stealing from her friends.

So who should we cover, if any of them?"

Feel free to vote in the comments section of celebitchy.com!

Now, I didn't watch "Larry King Live" with Paris Hilton last night as, well, I don't really watch "Larry King." Ever. I found it surprising that she chose to have her first post-prison interview with Larry King. I figured she'd have gone for some female support via "The View" or something. At least then she'd spill on prison deets, instead of answering (or not answering) questions like "What's you favorite Bible passage?" (Paris couldn't answer that.) She did however answer the question, "Have you ever tried drugs?" with a resounding lie: "No." Photographic evidence is below. So all in all, she's back in the public eye, free to roam Hollywood red carpets, but we'll have to see if she's "changed." From the looks of her interview, the answer is "no."

Paris sent a card to TMZ and it looks like it was drawn by a five year old.

From Popsugar: "After an initially dramatic few days of checking into jail, out on house arrest, and then back in, Paris Hilton was just released from jail. After 23 days, she left Lynwood at almost exactly the stroke of midnight, emerging with a big smile on her face, waving, and running straight into her parents' arms. Considering the big deal she's made about being a changed person, she certainly walked out of jail looking a bit like she was enjoying the attention. We won't have to wait too long before hearing about the experience straight from the heiress' mouth -- she's set to appear on Larry King tomorrow night. The first immediate story from Fox News (as they trailed her car OJ-style) was that she had Sprinkles cupcakes in the car."

From TMZ: "Says Paris' mom Kathy, who tells People that their visit to Paris in jail left Nicky "in hysterics" and that the younger Hilton "tried to keep the brave face but -- I never see Nicky cry." Nicky describes the scene as "right out of the movies ... the glass partition, the orange jumpsuit. Everything."

Meanwhile, Nicky might be boo-hooing but she's spitting back at L.A. City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo, saying, "[Paris is] not in jail for DUI. That's a big misconception. She's in jail for driving on a suspended license, just like the D.A.'s wife was." Delgadillo's wife did get just a $186 fine for a traffic ticket she got while driving on a suspended license two years ago, though she wasn't busted for the license."

Unless she commits suicide in her cell with a bedsheet, I'm not posting anymore Paris Hilton stories. For the day.

TMZ cameras spotted this sign posted outside the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood yesterday. What, did the inmates make this in their spare time? All that time they have between dying their lips fruit punch red and finding Jesus?

Soraya Lopez served time with Paris Hilton at Lynwood and says she's "top dog" in prison and the other inmates are glad to have her there. Soraya said that Paris is not wearing the orange jumpsuit that the others wear, but she's wearing pink polka dot prison scrubs. She's also wearing full make-up when other girls have to use coffee grounds and fruit punch to make lipstick and blush.

Soraya is glad that Paris was there with her, because she claims they were treated better. "The whole facility is benefiting from this - they are feeding us better and releasing us earlier because they don't want people around her."

Is Paris really this cool? Like worthy of the BMOC title (or the BBIJ--Big Bitch in Jail)? Why was she allowed to separate herself from the other inmates with pink polka dot prison scrubs? This isn't a fucking hospital where you can celebrate Easter via printed scrubs. And I guess that old adage about women dressing up for each other is true, if women are that desperate for makeup that they use coffee grounds (for hair dye??) and fruit punch.

CELEBDISH CUTLETS
-->Reports People mag: After a stay of less than a week, Richie Sambora has left his rehab program at the UCLA medical center. Seems pretty quick to be fully recovered.
-->Last night Paris Hilton was moved back to Lynwood, where she originally started her sentence. As of now, she is in the medical ward at Lynwood, but since she has been deemed "medically stable," she will return to her solitary cell in the special needs division. The secret medical condition? Panic attacks.
-->At last night's NYC premiere of "A Mighty Heart", Angelina Jolie went with a $26 vintage dress from a thrift store in LA, as opposed to a designer gown. Smacks of Sharon Stone's GAP turtleneck. But cooler, because it's vintage. Oh Angie, you're so edgy.

From Bricks and Stones: "Paris Hilton has reportedly been transferred from the medical ward at Twin Towers jail in downtown LA to the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood to carry out the rest of her sentence. While Paris was at Twin Towers jail, it was costing in excess of $1,000 a day to care for her."

Wanna know what else is costing her $1,000 a day? Her Adderall habit. Prescribed for people with ADD, Adderall has an added side effect: weight loss. And we know how much people in LA love weight loss. "Paris Hilton’s cellmates haven’t figure out that she is NOT taking the drug Adderall because she actually has ADD (attention deficit disorder.) Are they the only people who don’t know that every thin actress in this town gulps Adderall by the handful because it has a great side effect - it makes them lose weight! It’s the hottest new diet pill on the market! Every $10,000 handbag you see on the arm of a skinny celebrity contains Adderall and cigarettes. Think about it. Paris’s costar and best friend Nicole Ritchie also pretends to have ADD and takes the drug. It’s not illegal if you convince your doctor you have ADD - and that’s not hard to do."

From Just Jared and Gallery of the Absurd, assorted photos of asinine celebs:

Paris Hilton's father, Rick, is planning a "Get out of jail" party for his eldest daughter when she's out of prison in a few weeks. He has already approached some big Las Vegas clubs, like Pure, the Hard Rock Hotel, and the Palms, none of which have signed on yet, reported Page Six. And TMZ announced "that Paris Hilton suffers from extreme Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and claustrophobia, and these conditions may have triggered the Sheriff's decision to spring her from Lynwood Jail last week. We're told Hilton is taking Adderall for her ADD. Although our sources were not specific, we're told Hilton was not receiving all of her medications at Lynwood. As a result, Hilton was having severe panic attacks in jail. There were times she was so debilitated, she could not push the panic button in her cell." A panic button? Don't they have those in retirement centers? Right next to the toilet? I think I accidentally pulled the cord once visiting my grandma in her retirement center. Best part about that day was seeing the shampoo she used: Silver Fox. What I want to address that's on-topic though is the speed with which a celeb is diagnosed with a mental illness. Britney's in rehab? She must have bipolar disorder. Paris is in jail? Well, she's gotta be ADD. This tendency to over-diagnose seems to be a new excuse for wrongdoing or getting your shit together. Maybe they're just fucked up, they don't necessarily have to suffering from a mental illness to account for their behavior. And who doesn'tthink jail is claustrophobic? You're in a fucking 9x9 cell, of course it's close quarters.

All over the news is that Paris Hilton's been sprung from jail 20 days too early, after serving only 72 hours at Lynwood. TMZ.com has had hourly updates, and the most recent covers the reasons behind her early dismissal: near nervous breakdown.

"Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Paris Hilton's medical condition was purely psychological and that she was in peril of having a nervous breakdown, and that's why she was released early this morning.

Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We're told after Sophy's visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton's mental state was fragile and she was at risk.

The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head.

Last month, on the eve of a trial in which Hilton was accused of slandering socialite Zeta Graph, Dr. Sophy told the judge that Hilton was "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her jail sentence, which prevented her from participating in a meaningful defense. That trial was put on hold until August.

UPDATE: Law enforcement sources have just told TMZ the County Jail medical team made the final decision to spring Paris based on Dr. Sophy's psychological evaluation. And we're told, Sheriff Lee Baca gave the final approval."

Is this what she does in the face of consequence? Not to compare a nervous breakdown to a good sob, but come on, this is the second time she's pulled this. She needs to own up to her actions and stop relying on legal loopholes to get herself off the hook. Paris will be on house arrest for forty days, and will be wearing an ankle bracelet that tracks her movement. And she's probably online shopping for accessories for the anklet, you know, some swarovski crystals here, a big "P" there. In fact, she's probably planning a pool party to welcome herself out of the clink.

From A Socialite's Life: "Paris Hilton may be facing a serious threat at the Lynwood Correction Facility where she is currently serving her 45-day sentence for violating her probation. The women's prison is rife with staph infection, with over 402 inmates diagnosed with the serious infection last year alone!

For every 1,000 inmates that enter the facility, 13 will contract some version of this infection that is caused by the staphylococcus bacteria.

Elizabeth Bancroft, an Epidemiologist for The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health, spoke with INSIDE EDITION about the seriousness of the staph strain that is spreading through out the women's prison.

"MRSA is a kind of staph infection that means it's resistant to the first line of antibiotics we usually use to treat staph infection," she continues, "That is the kind that is so prevalent right now or so common in the jail."

Sick. But funny if she catches it.

If Warhol had painted Lindsay, Paris, and Britney....

From DListed: "Paris Hilton hasn't even stepped into a jail and she's already getting her time cut in half for good behavior. Jail officials have cut her some slack and reduced her 45 days to 23 days, because she sucked them off.

The L.A. County sheriff's office announced that they recognize her good behavior including showing up at her recent court date. Paris will also serve her 23-days in a special unit. These cells are specifically reserved for high-profile inmates who might otherwise be targeted by fellow prisoners. She will also get an hour a day to make phone calls, watch TV and shower.

This is a vacation if you ask me. I doubt she will serve more than 2 days. She hasn't even started serving and they've already reduced it which means they will probably cut it more when she shows up to jail. I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm sure she'll even cry about this and when she gets out after 2 hours of serving she'll do the talk show circuits and talk about how hard it was."

So true. She'll def be on "the View", "Regis and Kelly", and mabes "Ellen" if she's lucky. I don't really see them having an interesting conversation though. Oh well, if all else fails, she can just let her boob pop out like Cameron Diaz did on "Ellen." That'll give them something to talk about, besides how hard jail was.

Here's the letter Candy Spelling sent TMZ.com in response to Paris Hilton's sentence to 45 days in jail.

Dear Paris,

As someone who has known you for most of your life, I pay special attention to your press coverage. (Apparently, I’m not alone, based on the responses every word about you creates on TMZ.com and elsewhere.)

Paris, I’m very worried about you. The last week has not only been an obvious roller-coaster for you emotionally, but your strategy went from blaming employees and stating silly excuses like, “I don’t read,” to your new lawyer’s tactic to have you sound mature and take some responsibility. In between, the paparazzi continue to follow you shopping and taking self-defense classes (to protect yourself in jail?), and some over-zealous friends staged embarrassing protests (three people?), and wasted taxpayer funds with a petition to pardon you.

People who are rich and famous are not treated like “regular” people, even though you claim to now be just like everyone else. In most situations, your privileged life works to your benefit. You have opportunities, access and resources like few others; and frankly, you can get away with more bad behavior and excuses than most people could even imagine. However, as the real possibility of jail approaches — whether it’s 21 days or 45 or whatever the latest report is — it’s time to get real. It’s time to find “a Paris” somewhere between “heiress” and a character on “The Simple Life.” I know she’s there, and I know she can be a good citizen and maturely face consequences other people would have to face under the same circumstances.

I am sorry you have been sentenced to jail. I can’t think of too much that would be worse. But since you let this happen, use the next couple of weeks preparing not only by publicly learning to fight (not a good message to fellow inmates), but by looking around, realizing that you are not as truly entitled as your money implies. You are a young woman who can add more to her community than establishing new definitions for infamy.

Best,

Candy Spelling

Paris Hilton's father Rick was in the hospital recently having surgery, and Paris took it upon herself to get crafty. From our creepy little peeks into celebrities' lives that X17.com allows us, we've seen that Paris is quite the memento-saving craft-hound. Case in point: her love scrapbook for Stavros Niarchos, and the myriad of love letters to various boyfriends, relationships sure to last forever, especially when Paris writes in her hearts and smiley-face font: "We'll always be together." This shit was cool in the 7th grade, having Lisa Frank stickers and folders and trapper keepers, and making collages for your friends with words like "girlfriend" and "beautiful" all over it. But isn't Paris 25? A good 13 years older than a 7th grader. I think a card would have sufficed instead of a "Look at me, Daddy!" poster.

This MAY be Paris Hilton's new home for the next 45 days...desert prison. That sounds like Josh Hartnett vehicle, or "Sahara: Part 2" gone terribly wrong. Anyway, I think we've found a winner in Joe Apaio, who says he will enforce the entire length of Paris' sentence.

From Dlisted.com: "Joe Arpaio is known as the country's toughest sheriff and he runs the Maricopa County jail in Phoenix, Arizona. In the past the jail had to send away inmates due to overcrowding, but Joe came up with a solution. He built tents in the desert to house additional inmates. In the summertime temps rise to 103. Joe has contacted the L.A. County sheriff's office and has requested Paris Hilton serve her 45-day sentence at his jail. It has been reported that L.A. is considering his request.

Joe's prisoners wear old-time prison outfits and are forced to work in a chain-gang picking up trash on the side of the road. Joe said he would love the publicity and also make sure Paris serves her entire 45-day sentence."

Paris will probs act like Naomi Campbell during her community service stint, and demand vintage.

All the stars came out for Coachella....to do mass quantities of drugs in an open-air field. Here's Paris Hilton partaking backstage with a group of friends, but it's no news that she loves the weed.

Never has a celebrity acted so above the law as Paris Hilton--oooooh wait--OJ. Well, now that she's in the same category as a murderer, let's talk of her exploits. Paris was recently convicted of driving on a suspended license and violating her probation from a September DUI and sentenced to 45 days in an LA county jail. She and her lawyer--wait, her OTHER lawyer, not the one she recently fired--are currently appealing this decision, but in the meantime, Paris decided it was perfectly acceptable to take a little cruise in her Bently.

"Despite having her licence suspended, Paris was followed by photographers as she lost her way in LA, finishing up in a dead-end even after reading print-out directions.
Photographers also reported she pulled three u-turns in a search for her final destination."

As someone who is photographed as much as Paris and apparently has 10 helicopters flying above her house, as Cameron Diaz, who lives nearby, recently commented, you'd assume that Paris would be a bit more cautious about say, breaking the law repeatedly. There are currently two petitions online, one to encourage the jailing of Paris, and one to "Save Paris" (run through her Myspace page), and rightfully so, the appropriate petition is winning (jail Paris). Perhaps her sentence will increase if the judge happens to see these latest paparazzi shots of Paris driving? Either way, expect a "Law & Order" mock-up episode.