Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Sorry. False alarm. I thought I got this thing figured out. I'm really startingto think "new blogger" is fucking me over...anyone else having a similarexperience?

I know I had this New Year's Resolution to post more, but really, what's happened since I stopped posting?

-->Britneystarted dating Issac Cohen, and then they broke up, but not before she threwup all over him and her lying publicist said it was "peanut butter." BecauseI certainly travel with jars of extra chunky. Earlier this week, she wentshopping with Sean Preston...not to Super Target, but lingerie shopping ofcourse at a store called "Trashy Lingerie." He was probs their youngest clienteleever.

-->Marilyn Manson is in the process of divorcing Dita VonTeese, getting with 20 year old actress Evan Rachel Wood, and creating thescariest movie of all time called "Phantasmagoria" based on Lewis Carroll,whom we all know was the John Mark Karr of his day. Just kidding, he wasactually quite brilliant but he did take some very eerie photographs of littlechildren.

-->Lindsay Lohan went to the aptly named Wonderlandrehab center though interestingly enough did not state what she was enteringtreatment for. There's rumors going around that Lindsay, Paris Hilton, ScottStorch and Fat Elvis Brandon Davis were partying up a storm the Saturdaybefore the Globes, when shortly thereafter Lindsay was found passed out onthe floor of the hotel lobby. Supposedly, Scott Storch is the one who encouragedboth Lindsay and Fat Elvis to go to rehab, and both agreed, but Brandon bailedout at the last minute. Another Lindsay rumor (not to pun that terrible songshe had) is that when she was in the hospital with appendicitis (or was it?some believe it wasn't at all because she was back partying the night shewas released from the hospital) doctors discovered her liver is severelydamaged from alcohol. Either way, she's made it rehab but somehow keeps leaving,like being photographed entering her apartment building today. My understandingof rehab is that if you're in an inpatient program, you stay on the premisesto continue treatment. How can it be good to go back to her element, to anapartment where she's done eight balls on the kitchen countertop as wellas her coffee table, as opposed to a safe monitored environment. I don'tknow, you can probs buy drugs in celeb rehab for all I know. I guess thepolicy at Wonderland is they allow patients to attend off-site meetings,like for AA and whatnot, but I don't see the benefit of that.

-->Thedeadline for Anna Nicole Smith's baby Dannielynn's paternity test is tomorrow,but shock of shocks, her lawyers are fighting it, saying that the doctorsare certified in the Bahamas to run these tests. Now I know the Bahamas areparadise and all, but what's it to them? I mean, why do they have all thesespecific laws that separate them from the US? Geography or political sciencegrads, I'm looking to you. I personally think ANS is just buying time toevade the inevitable...Howard K. Stern is NOT her babydaddy, just a creepylawyer who somehow got an obviously drugged up ANS to commit to him. Yuck.I hope Dannielynn is Larry Birkhead's baby, at least he buys her stuff toplay with a Toys R Us, unlike ANS who probably tosses empty sunscreen bottlesin her crib.

-->The Rosie v. Trump feud. Sorry, not talking about it. Didn't get it, don't care, and can't believe I even addressed it.

-->The Rosie v. Oprah feud. Rosie, take the note: you're getting in too many feuds.

SoI probs missed some things and I apologize for the lack of pics. It's likereading a book when you have minimal description of what the main characterlooks like: you vaguely know what these people look like, so just imaginethem while reading and it's almost as if I posted pics.

P.S. sorry the only pic I was able to post was of (ugh) Jared Leto.

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