SOME CELEBDISH CUTLETS

--> Though they're reported to be on/off, Britney's boyfriend Isaac Cohen was recently spotted at lingerie boutique La Bra (ha ha, imagine calling them up: "This is La Bra") buying not two, not three, but seven pairs of underwear for our favorite non-panty sporting "singer." You need a fucking grocery cart for seven pairs of underwear, that's one for every day of the week, so let's say she's covered in that department.

--> Miss USA Tara Conner is on lockdown: aftering emerging from rehab, she will set up shop in a new uptown apartment, AWAY from her fellow pageant winners at Trump Plaza. Her news digs come with complimentary chaperone and strict rules (ex: she is no longer allowed to go clubbing and I would venture to say she's no longer allowed to snort coke and make out with other girls).

--> The new Celebrity Fit Club is already brewing with onset feuds, the first one involving host Ant (Ant? Didn't Adam Ant already NOT make it big, therefore destroying all references to his name? I refuse to believe his real name is Ant), medical/diet expert Dr. Ian, and a cigarette. The cooler feud involves Screech aka Dustin Diamond of newfound pornstar fame and former "American Idol" contestant Kimberly Locke, which began when Diamond said he would "make a dildo of my cock and fuck her with it." Locke, along with almost every member of the cast, including 80's pop star Tiffany, rap star Warren G and "Brady Bunch" star Maureen "Marcia" McCormick all stormed off the set. Only Ross the Intern stayed. Then producers exiled Diamond so he would have no contact with the rest of the cast, which I believe is what the rest of society should do.

--> Singer Brandy was involved in a car wreck on December 30, 2006 on the Los Angeles freeway. The accident claimed the life of 38-year-old Awatef Aboudihaj. An eyewitness tells TMZ Brandy was traveling at around 65 miles per hour but did not stop when traffic in front of her slowed. Brandy's vehicle struck the vehicle in front of her and triggered a four car crash. There is no evidence of drugs or alcohol and Brandy was not arrested. The California Highway Patrol has recommended that singer-actress Brandy be prosecuted for misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter. A CHP source tells TMZ his department has ruled out mechanical malfunction as the cause of the crash. The source adds that the CHP believes Brandy "was just going too fast" and "was the person at fault." If convicted, Brandy could face one year in L.A. County Jail and a $1,000 fine. Okay, realize now she's just going to get the fine and will NOT go to jail. Let's be serious here, she's no Lil' Kim.

--> Capio Nightingale Hospital received two new patients in Kate Moss and Pete Doherty, who checked in under false names to attend rehab. The UK Sun reports: The supermodel and the shambolic rocker checked secretly into the discreet Capio Nightingale Hospital just half a mile from her home in North West London. They met staff who cleared a 12-place unit at an annexe behind the main hospital building off busy Marylebone Road. Kate, who has previously been in rehab after being caught snorting cocaine, has told pals she is determined to support the troubled BABYSHAMBLES frontman. She is said to be battling to help Doherty come off drugs.
A source said: “They arrived together and will be supporting each other.” Kate is discussing her relationship feelings while Pete has a much harder fight on his hands to sort himself out. The source added: “They looked very much a couple as they came in and she is clearly worried about him.” Sooooo...the whole anonymity thing worked out well. I had a feeling those photogs who follow pair constantly would blow their cover, though you never know what a "Cam & Sam Shamsie" alias can do to hide an identity. Who am I kidding, Pete was probs shooting up at the check-in counter. I know, I know, I'm acting like this is a hotel, but again, you've heard my thoughts on celeb rehab. Lohan is mos def able to score coke in rehab.

--> New couple alert! Aside from Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, who supposedly are now dating after she was seen hanging around the lockerrom and Brady was seen texting furiously the entire time he was out with "the guys", welcome Sienna Miller and Puffy to the coupledom club. They looked very close at Sundance, and then the pair was spotted entering Sienna's NYC hotel early Sunday am after a night of partying. Also, Puffy demanded that all photos and videos be destroyed of the two, but we all know how well paparazzi listen. Like not at all!

--> I just learned that LMAO means "laughing my ass off." Now I can add this to my litany of acronyms: LOL (laughing out loud) WBS (write back soon) KIT (keep in touch) BFF (best friends forever) and my personal fav, LYLAS (love ya like a sister).