As the Evil Beet headline pointed out, "4 out of 5 doctors agree: Joe Francis is an asshole." The Smoking Gun obtained documents of the court psychologist, who after interviews with Francis, labeled his diagnosis a personality disorder with immature and narcissistic tendencies. Hmmm, it's always more interesting when a doctor steps in.

"Girls Gone Wild” boss Joe Francis has been having such a rough time in a Florida jail that he recently told a psychiatrist that suicide was a possibility if his imprisonment was prolonged. The porn impresario, who this week finishes a 45-day sentence for criminal contempt, also told Dr. Ronald Markman that he was being housed with “all murderers” in his section of the Bay County lockup. “I started freaking out and screaming, I couldn’t breathe,” said Francis. “I don’t think I can handle this on a long-term thing–I’m not a criminal.” Markman, hired by Francis’s defense team, interviewed the 34-year-old late last month and drafted the below report, which was filed Friday in U.S. District Court in Nevada. Markman concluded that while Francis was “clinically stable,” he demonstrated “significant psychiatric issues” for which he has shunned treatment due to embarrassment. During a two-hour interview, the inmate appeared to minimize his drug and alcohol use, Markman concluded. Francis denied using pot, claimed to have tried cocaine only a few times, and said he had one drink per week. He also copped to trying mushrooms."

One drink per week? De-nial. And what are these "significant psychiatric issues"? Making millions off of girls who throw their tops up at Mardi Gras year after year? Having an extravagant Mexican estate where famous celebs come and stay? (not using you for your money obvs). I'm hoping more details emerge as his sentence winds down. If he's not ass-raped by the murderers and has a complete mental breakdown first.