See? She really does go to rehab (as evidenced by the chain smoking--she must fit right in), she just doesn't stay.

Sources are reporting to PEOPLE that Britney Spears has checked out of her second rehab facility in less than a week, this time at Malibu's Promises. This is what she's missing:

"Along with our West Los Angeles facility, Promises Malibu provides primary, inpatient treatment to alcoholics and addicts hooked on prescription or illegal drugs. This means that our residents live full time on our Malibu estate while undergoing treatment for their addiction. Supervised by a medical staff of physicians, physciatrists and nurses and a clinical staff of licensed therapists and social workers, Promises Malibu offers the most comprehensive care for you or your loved one. Our addiction treatment program encompasses detox, dual diagnosis treatment, twelve step education, CBT therapy, experiential therapy, group counseling, indvidual therapy and more - all uniquely planned for each individual resident."

So, in other words, a ball o' fun. And CBT, for those not in the know, is "cognitive Behavioral Therapy." I only know this because my mother uses it, most likely on me.

Britney checked out after less than 24 hours in the facility, against the advice of staff and family, and met with lawyer Blair Berk this afternoon. I know you're thinking, it's for her divorce from KFed, but this is the lawyer who represented Mel "Sugartits" Gibson for his DUI and also Reese Witherspoon in her fight with the paparazzi. Most likely, Britney is meeting with him to file some sort of suit against the paparazzi, as they camped outside of Promises and wouldn't "leave her alone." Wouldn't it be nice if there was a law that banned Britney Spears from being in the tabloids with her chatch out? She'd get a little peace and quiet, we wouldn't lose our lunches, all would be well in the world. Except for that little matter of Paris Hilton....



PSYCH! It's Britney! Not Paris, or even Madonna circa the Material Girl tour. She's tricky that Brit...just when we thought we were getting used to her Susan Powter hair, she pulls a fast one!