Lately, a day wouldn't be complete at Celeb Dish without an update on the soap opera that is Anna Nicole's life. NOW Larry Birkhead is demanding paternity AND drug testing be done to prove that a) he is the father of Anna Nicole's daughter Dannielynn (spelling of such an invented named questionable: I've also seen it spelled 'Dannilynn' and 'Danni Lynn') and b) that Anna Nicole is addicted to methadone, a heroin subsitute often used in rehab, a substance found in her son Daniel's system, along with Zoloft and Lexapro. Birkhead speculates that her lawyer and newfound "committed partner" Howard K. Stern supplies her with methadone and perpetuates her addiction. This would explain why TrimSpa was not the only thing she used to aid in her speedy and drastic weight loss. Remember that picture of her in a seafoam green dress with long sleeves a while back, during the Anna Nicole Smith show? She was enormous! And now...well...she did get "committed" in a pink bikini. Birkhead, for his credit, looks like Keith Urban. Or a Backstreet Boy. And the alleged fathers are so different looking (one dark, the other blonde), won't the paternity naturally be revealed? What's taking so long for a paternity test anyways? Don't they do those backstage on Sally Jessie in like two minutes? This better not follow suit with Daniel's toxicology reports that kept coming back inconclusive. Celebitchy reports:

"In a lawsuit asking for custody of Anna’s newborn, Danilynne, Birkhead claims that Anna escaped to the Bahamas right before she was due to give birth in order to avoid drug testing, with the added benefit of denying him paternity rights.

He also says that not only is Howard K. Stern not the father of the baby, but that Anna initially shopped around for another man to pose as her baby’s daddy:

Photojournalist Larry Birkhead, an ex-boyfriend of Smith’s who claims he fathered the newborn Dannie Lynn Hope, has filed suit in a Los Angeles court demanding Smith return to the United States and submit the baby to a paternity test. Smith was served with court papers Monday in the Bahamas, Birkhead’s lawyer, Debra Opri, told The Associated Press. The lawsuit contains allegations, untested in a court of law, that Smith is a methadone addict and that her lawyer and boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, has been enabling her habit. Methadone was one of three drugs in the bloodstream of Smith’s late son, Daniel, 20, who died of a heart attack in his mother’s Bahamian hospital room on Sept. 10, three days after Dannie Lynn’s birth. Three people were reportedly in the room when he died: Smith, her baby, and Stern. Birkhead accuses Smith of holing up in the Bahamas to keep Dannie Lynn from being subjected to drug testing. His petition demands that both Smith and her daughter undergo blood tests. Opri says Birkhead is seeking full legal and physical custody of the child.

“The public will be very surprised when they learn the details of the lifestyle this baby is going to be faced with if she remains in the current situation,” she said.

Sidenote: seriously, how do you spell her daughter's name? I wish people would stop cramming two names together (ex: Jailynn) in order to invent a new one that has some fucked up symbolic meaning.