Saturday, October 07, 2006

Here's the photos People paid $1 million for...which is also probably the weight in pounds of Anna Nicole's fake eyelashes. I don't know, this certainly looks like a wedding to me. We've got rings being exchanged, the bride wearing white (and a veil), the groom wearing black, and of course, what wedding isn't complete without a hulking black man.
Anna Nicole, goofball that she is, wanted to take a dip in the tropical waters but the first spot they tried was shark-infested. So the boat cruised around to find more suitable jumping grounds. And is just me, or does it look like Howard K. Stern is going to need a lot of upper body strength to get Anna Nicole out of the water.
Someone please get this lady a drug test. The ONLY explanation I can think of for her appearance is that she got mildly sunburned in the Bahamas and slathered her face and body with aloe. Even little Dannielynn (I've just started spelling it however the fuck I feel like I want to spell it) looks a tad red, but that could just be because she's a month old and vacationing in the sunniest place on earth. Now I know Anna Nicole has been through a lot, and has undergone many transformations, but this doesn't even remotely look like her. Oh, and one final note: the guests dined on KFC. Really.


Jerkstore said...

This is frightening; first off I want to say that she looks like she is putting weight back on. That’s fine but Howard looks a whole lot more enthused of this wedding then dear old Nichole. Not to mention on that first picture up there she looks like Charlize Theron’s character in monster.

SES said...

ugh, totally. i hate to say this, but did you see her arm hang-down in the photo where he's trying to pull her out of the water? jiggle-city. and you're right, she DOES look like aileen wuornos, or whatevs her name was. mos def putting on a few lbs.