First off, how many fucking animals does Paris have? One for every day of the month? I mean, if you own a kinkajou, something tells me you're not in the market for a goldfish like the rest of us. So why is her pug's eyeballs jolting out of his head? Maybe Paris' death grip? No, more than likely, he was bugging his eyes in reaction to the paparazzi's discover that...gasp!


Nicole and Paris are together again! Like the long-awaited Sonny and Cher reunion, the gruesome twosome had dinner together last week, then were spotted together the next day leaving Paris' house. What's next, South Korea forgives North Korea? This was all in the cards anyway...because of course, "The Simple Life" will be returning to E! with the girls as camp counselors.