Lindsay Lohan: (ring ring) Hey whaddup, is this Mrs. Clinton?
Hillary Clinton: Yes, this is Hillary.

LL: I wanted to talk to you about like going to Iraq and performing for the troops.

HC: I'm sorry, who is this?

LL: Lindsay Lohan, you know, from Mean Girls? A Prairie Home Companion? Every tabloid in the country?

HC: I'm sorry, I don't think I know who you are.

LL: We've been trying to go to Iraq together? I'm really very passionate about it, I'm a redhead afterall.

HC: Can I have my assistant call you back? I'm sort of tied up at the moment. Maybe we can plan this...er, trip, another time.

LL: Cool. Just holla back whenevs.

In her new Elle magazine interview, Lindsay discusses her patriotism and the dangers of traveling to Iraq with Hillary Clinton. "I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long. Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous," the 20-year-old actress says in an interview in the September issue of Elle magazine, on newsstands Wednesday. Lohan, whose screen credits include "Freaky Friday," "Mean Girls" and the upcoming "Georgia Rule," says she hoped to emulate Marilyn Monroe, who performed shows for about 100,000 troops stationed in Korea in 1954. "It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be," Lohan tells the magazine, adding that she would prepare for her trip to Iraq by taking shooting lessons with her security guard."

Why are Hillary Clinton and Lindsay Lohan teaming up? This is like a meeting of superpowers for all the wrong reasons. And this is all so Lindsay can feel like a pin-up? Why don't we just make her a calendar and save her the trip to Iraq. And are the shooting lessons really necessary?