Their publicists tell us that Denise Richards and Richie Sambora have broken up. But look whose sneaky--they did break up, TWO MONTHS AGO! The reasoning behind this is that the couple each went through nasty divorces (to Charlie Sheen and Heather Locklear, respectively) and knew the pain that publicity causes, so they wanted some privacy. Know why it worked? Because no one cares that they broke up, or that they were even together. For two months, no one said, "Hmmmm, I haven't seen Denise and Richie together in a while. I wonder if there's trouble in wonderland?" No. No one wonders about them, period. The closest I got to reading something about Denise Richards was when she threw that laptop at the paparazzi. But...here I am, re-reading this paragraph....about Denise Richards. Oh well. Break-ups are what happen when you date someone whose first name is like a nickname of your last name. That'd be like if I married someone whose first name was Skerry. I hope my dreams come true.